Boys From Brazil

There wasn't an Englishman in sight on World Cup Final night except a Liverpool fan who got round his travel ban.

Crowd Pleaser

Luis Felipe Scolari refused to accept Brazil are crap, "We aren't England we're shit free, not a minaret or a baby on benefits as far as the eye can see".

Hand of God!

Brendan Rodgers hailed the £64million Luis Suarez fee, "I can buy loads of shit with this and get Wilfried Bony".

Hacked Down

Two massive cunts in the World Cup Final and we've got Cameron & Clegg, "Go to Brazil" said Dave "We can listen to you there instead". 

Olé Olé Olé

Angela Merkel praised her team full of shit stained runts, "Come on boys let's show Brazil some real German cunt!"

Engerland

'Only 10 of us are on the list' said EU dirt cunt David Mellor, "There's no need for Twitter to take the piss".

The Players

No matter what they say England rule ok....

Saved!!!

'No need for an Enquiry' said David Cameron, "It's a massive breeding ground and they'll never win the league".

Brazilian

Columbia's Juan Zuniga denied he put Neymar out of the World Cup on purpose, "It wasn't my fault I tried to ride his arse assault".

Professional Foul

England piss Steven Gerrard claimed his 'right to be forgotten', "I play like shit and no cunt gets to read it".

Vanishing Spray

Chile's Alexis Sanchez told Liverpool to 'fuck off' as they demanded he play for them, "Im not signing I'll shriek".

Head-Shot....

USA Goalkeeper Tim Howard proved he isn't such a shower of shit after all, "Im a Christian not a Muslim".

Golden Boot

Fifa announced 'No more match-fixing in the World Cup' as all African teams are out, "Cameroon were over the moon, Nigeria left with a plethora but Ivory Coast got the most".

Kick It Out!

Lenny Henry and the Left had one huge wankfest with France and Germany on the big screen, "It was marvellous there wasn't a white man to be seen".  

World Cup Willy

David Cameron conceded defeat to Europe, "England must eat shit everyday and learn to play the German way".

Foul Play

Diego Maradona said Merseyside was no place for Luis Suarez to be, "Scousers have no shame they always shoot in the same vein".

'Gary Ablett's'

Liverpool fans threatened everyone with court action for laughing at them all week, "We wont take this lying down we'll fucking shriek".

Anfield Rap

Luis Suarez was left fuming as FIFA tried to force him to play for Liverpool again, "But they'll never win the league *shriek*".

Fever Pitch

Liver Birds were left demanding justice for Luis Suarez's cock pocket, "We wont go quietly we'll shriek".

KICK OFF!!!

'Anyone can be an England footballer' said Roy Hodgson as he picked another crock of shit for Costa Rica, "We need to win this game so we'll play in white".

Blame Game

England Captain Steven Gerrard claimed the players take 'full responsibility' for being a pile of fucking wank, "We'll keep our places and laugh all the way to the bank".

Marked Man

Stan Collymore refused to apologise to War Veterans for supporting Argentina, "I come from a long line of dogshit and we never play for England".

Captain Fantastic

England down and out Wayne Rooney apologised for the lack of home grown talent, "Im devastated only 450 fucked off to Iraq I wish it could have been more". 

Liverpool Pathway

With Scousers to blame for England's shite Ed Miliband promised "No more benefit caps, we need these whorebags to provide for us otherwise we'll never win the League".

Here We Go

As England prepared for their crucial World Cup match with Uruguay the massive rise in Dementia saw English people forget how fucking shit they are.

State of Play

When asked about the ISIS threat from all the cunts we've got living here David Cameron promised "Yes it's huge. There's fucking loads in the England team".

Champions!

'Fuck women' said Cameron & Hague as they agreed to hand Iran your money along with anything else we've got. "Britain needs more shite and these cunts are the winners".

Brazil Nuts

Socialist shit across the globe welcomed the presence of Iran v Nigeria at the World Cup. Dont worry said the BBC "We'll screen the match as no British person wants to watch Germany v Portugal".

Back Of The Net!

The continuous kissing of Steven Gerrard's arse by Roy Hodgson left England with a massive hole in midfield, "We needed more batteries up the rear as they came through like a train and cut us right in half".

#goalface

Baroness Jolie declared herself a fan of the England football team as they prepared to get stuffed by Italy, "Yes. William Hague tells me its full of black kids".

"Up The Amazon"

Ed Miliband promised he wouldnt cheer on the England football team so as not to offend his voters "The Labour Party has a proud tradition of supporting sponging cunts and Im no different".

FAIRPLAY!

Seismic cunt Sepp Blatter opened Brazil 2014 promising only he can win the World Cup, "Vote for me and I will continue to ensure more Bangladeshis' go flying through the air".