Kick It Out!

Lenny Henry and the Left had one huge wankfest with France and Germany on the big screen, "It was marvellous there wasn't a white man to be seen".  

World Cup Willy

David Cameron conceded defeat to Europe, "England must eat shit everyday and learn to play the German way".

Foul Play

Diego Maradona said Merseyside was no place for Luis Suarez to be, "Scousers have no shame they always shoot in the same vein".

'Gary Ablett's'

Liverpool fans threatened everyone with court action for laughing at them all week, "We wont take this lying down we'll fucking shriek".

Anfield Rap

Luis Suarez was left fuming as FIFA tried to force him to play for Liverpool again, "But they'll never win the league *shriek*".

Fever Pitch

Liver Birds were left demanding justice for Luis Suarez's cock pocket, "We wont go quietly we'll shriek".

KICK OFF!!!

'Anyone can be an England footballer' said Roy Hodgson as he picked another crock of shit for Costa Rica, "We need to win this game so we'll play in white".

Blame Game

England Captain Steven Gerrard claimed the players take 'full responsibility' for being a pile of fucking wank, "We'll keep our places and laugh all the way to the bank".

Marked Man

Stan Collymore refused to apologise to War Veterans for supporting Argentina, "I come from a long line of dogshit and we never play for England".

Captain Fantastic

England down and out Wayne Rooney apologised for the lack of home grown talent, "Im devastated only 450 fucked off to Iraq I wish it could have been more". 

Liverpool Pathway

With Scousers to blame for England's shite Ed Miliband promised "No more benefit caps, we need these whorebags to provide for us otherwise we'll never win the League".

Here We Go

As England prepared for their crucial World Cup match with Uruguay the massive rise in Dementia saw English people forget how fucking shit they are.

State of Play

When asked about the ISIS threat from all the cunts we've got living here David Cameron promised "Yes it's huge. There's fucking loads in the England team".

Champions!

'Fuck women' said Cameron & Hague as they agreed to hand Iran your money along with anything else we've got. "Britain needs more shite and these cunts are the winners".

Brazil Nuts

Socialist shit across the globe welcomed the presence of Iran v Nigeria at the World Cup. Dont worry said the BBC "We'll screen the match as no British person wants to watch Germany v Portugal".

Back Of The Net!

The continuous kissing of Steven Gerrard's arse by Roy Hodgson left England with a massive hole in midfield, "We needed more batteries up the rear as they came through like a train and cut us right in half".

#goalface

Baroness Jolie declared herself a fan of the England football team as they prepared to get stuffed by Italy, "Yes. William Hague tells me its full of black kids".

"Up The Amazon"

Ed Miliband promised he wouldnt cheer on the England football team so as not to offend his voters "The Labour Party has a proud tradition of supporting sponging cunts and Im no different".

FAIRPLAY!

Seismic cunt Sepp Blatter opened Brazil 2014 promising only he can win the World Cup, "Vote for me and I will continue to ensure more Bangladeshis' go flying through the air".